When I Was Your Man
by TheNamesMrsSchmidt
Summary: Logan has to watch the man of his dreams marry someone who isn't him.


The sound of their song rings through Logan's ears, tugging at each heart string as if he has any left to pull on. All of it, the song, the voices, the laughing, the crying, it was all a slur of a sound to Logan. Right here, right now is the place where it all ends for him. Right here, right now is the day he sees the love of his life walk down the aisle to read vows, promising an eternal love story with someone else.

He picks up a card being handed out at the entrance of the church, not daring to look at the piece of beautifully decorated cardstock that had the name of his heart written next to another man's name. The awe that he's even here is still flooding inside of him as he walks down the center of the church to grab a front row seat to his reeping. There, he sees his two best friends trying to smile happily at the groom, even though they know this isn't right.

Their eyes quickly catch his brown eyes that haven't held life in them for three years. The hazel eyes and brown eyes stare widely at him as they try to silently tell him everything he should and needs to do, but Logan can't bear to take this happiness away from his one true love.

Just once, though, just for one little moment, he needs the closure, he needs to see his heart on a platter to truly remember what it is he's lost.

Getting up from his seat on the dark wooden bench, he passes by the short Latino and the tall, pretty boy with a sad expression on his face, knowing their expressions mirrored his own. When he turned the corner, he saw the door, he heard the voices, and he instantly knew this was the door.

Without giving himself time to run away again, Logan grabbed the handle, opening the curved wooden door to see him. The blonde that's haunted his dreams for three years. The blonde that's made him regret every decision he's made that meant losing him. The blonde he was irrevocably and unmistakably in love with.

He looked into the green eyes before him, expecting to see anger and hurt in them, it's what he selfishly wanted, but that's not what he saw. He saw fear, and a glimmer of happiness, happiness that was because of another man.

"_Kendall_," Logan whispered in a breath.

"Logan, what are you doing back here? I know I invited you to this thing, but it wasn't so you could screw it up."

The words hit him harshly, but they were well deserved. After all the things he put Kendall through, the invitation to his wedding practically gave him a heart attack.

_The tears ran down Kendall's face as he listened to Logan, the love of his life, tell him they couldn't be together._

_"Kendall, look, it's just not the right time to get into a deep relationship-"_

_"Bullshit, Logan, you're just afraid!"_

_"Afraid of what?"_

_"Afraid of your heart. Afraid of how you're heart beats for me when I'm not around. You're afraid of the feeling you get in your chest when I pull you into my arms, and how much you love the warmth my arms give you. You're afraid of how in love you are with me."_

_"Kendall, we aren't in love. We sleep together when we can't get any girls to drop their panties. That's all it is. I don't like guys. Maybe you do, and maybe you're in love with me, but it's definitely not requited love, Kendall."_

_Those words stung as they left Logan's mouth because they were not the truth whatsoever, but Logan couldn't deal, which meant he couldn't deal for Kendall._

_"N-no, Logan, y-you l-love me," Kendall whimpered, feeling tears stream down his face as Logan got up from the couch in the blonde's living room. He had to get out of there before Kendall broke down every restraint he had left._

_"I'm sorry, Kendall," was the last thing he said before he walked out of Kendall's life_

"Kendall, I-"

"No, don't. Logan, just don't. Do you see all of the people out there, and the beautiful man that loves me the way you didn't? Do you see the smile on his face? Can't you see how happy I finally am? God, I knew inviting you would be a mistake, but my mother insisted, saying what ever "debacle" we had was in the past, but dammit, Logan." Kendall turned away from the other man and shook his head that now suited shorter, darker hair.

"Your hair's shorter," Logan said softly. Kendall whipped back around to stare incredulously at the man that used to be his best friend and lover.

"That's all you have to say to me? That my hair is shorter? _Really, Logan?_"

Logan shook his head, suddenly finding his shoes very interesting as he lost the courage and drive to do what he came here to do. He came here to get his heart served to him on a platter.

"I came to say… That… I hope you live a happily ever after with him. I hope he can give you what I never could."

Kendall's face stayed blank as he nodded. "Thank you," he whispered, moving forward to shake Logan's hand. With the simple touch, Logan remembered how perfectly they had always fit together.

_"Logie?" Kendall whispered as he listened to the heart beat calmly beneath his ear._

_"Hmm?"_

_"You know I love you, right? You know that I'll always love you?" His green eyes looked up, desperately searching for Logan's warm eyes._

_Logan looked down, smiling softly as he said, "Yeah, I know." He wanted nothing more than to say 'I love you, too,', but it would have been too much, so he just hoped Kendall could see it in his eyes, feel it in his touch._

_"I could love you forever," Kendall whispered, tracing soft patterns into Logan's bare chest as Logan's fingers trailed up and down the length of Kendall's spine._

_"I know."_

_"I will love you forever, and we'll have an eternal love story. I'll break through those walls around your heart like a true Knight. I'll show you how to love and be loved, Logie. I can show you an eternity if you'd just let me."_

_Logan stayed silent, waiting for breaths to even out, proving to him that the blonde was asleep. These were the moments that scared him the most, the moments when he believed Kendall. The moments when he didn't want to leave the comfort of Kendall's bed to leave him alone in the morning. What scared him the most though, were the mornings he woke up next to Kendall._

A tear feel down his cheek as Kendall let go of his hand. The memories were too much. The good and the bad, no matter which memories they were, they reminded Logan of what he no longer had, and what he could never have again.

Walking out of the wooden door, he took his seat once again, looking over to see a familiar family smiling hopefully at him, but the smiles instantly faded as they saw the sadness behind his brown eyes.

Then, he heard the music playing, tears of joy being shed, and chatter being whispered, but it was all a blur to the heartbroken brunet in the front row of the church. He sat down when he felt others were doing the same.

He tried, he really did, but when he heard the priest say, "If anyone has a reason these two shouldn't marry, please speak now," he made a run for it. As quickly as his feet could carry him he left that church, and he ran. He just ran.

Finally, he couldn't handle the running and the sobbing at once, so he broke down on the curb in front of a supermarket. Cradling his head in his hands, he couldn't help but regret the words he never said.

Then he heard footsteps, he instantly looked, hoping by some miracle it'd be the blonde of his dreams, but it wasn't, it was Carlos.

"Logan, look-"

"N-no! I can't! I fucked up, Carlos! The only man, no, the only person I've ever truly loved is getting married to someone else because I was too afraid to admit I was falling in love! I was too afraid to admit that he was the air I needed to breathe, the sunshine that warm my skin every morning, and the endless love that made me soar. He's everything I want, and now he's marrying the perfect guy because I couldn't do it. I couldn't be there when he needed me. I never told him I loved him, that I still love him." Logan broke down in the slightly shorter man's arms, crying into the crook of his neck.

"Is all of that true?" Logan heard behind him, causing him to jump out of Carlos' arms and look at the tall figure only a few yards away from him.

"Yes, every single letter. I never told you because you were right. I was scared. And now… Now you should be in that church marrying the guy that deserves your love, not out here with me-"

Suddenly, his words were cut off by the best thing he's ever felt in three years: Kendall's lips.

"You're right, I should marry the person that deserves me, the person that has never hurt me once in the two years we've dated." His lips were back on Logan's, passionate and needy, trying to make up for the lost years.

"But I don't want him, I want you. I want the man who wants what he wants because it's his dream, not a man who caters to my every beck and call. I want a man who argues with me because he's so passionate about what he believes in. I want the man that makes me feel like I'm riding on a shooting star that's flying across the galaxy. I want you, Logan."

Then, Logan said the words that should've left his mouth three years ago.

"I love you, Kendall. Let's write our eternal love story."


End file.
